Mar 21, 2017
Excuses surround us. The more we give them, the more normal it
becomes. Sometimes excuses are explained away as rationalizations.
When the explanations we give ourselves contradict what others
experience and feel, our relationships are at risk. Our credibility
is at risk. It’s bold to accept responsibility and actively choose
what to do in each situation we meet. It is bold to own the
outcomes (good or bad) because they are a result of our choice.
Jessica Dewell hosts a discussion with Geoffrey X Lane and Tom
Rhodes to explore: What is an excuse and how do you identify them?
Starting the conversation…
- What is an excuse? How do you identify them for yourself and
- What do excuses do to our relationships?
Jessica Dewell Panel:
Transcript for Program: Say Goodbye
What You Will Hear:
Excuses are just reasons not to do things - we lie to ourselves. We
rise to the level we set - if we make excuses, we will fail. Our
credibility is at stake. What we do, how we respond affects our
relationships. Who do we stretch for - step out of our comfort zone
- be willing to reach for more? Black and white - what we believe
matters. We always have a choice. The controversy around
obligation. Words matter. What’s really binding… Our previous
choices put us exactly where we are today? Tips for self awareness
vs reflection. Very little is black and white. Find options in the
middle: what works for me and those around me? What normalization
has to do with excuses. The importance of questions. Observe and
take notice. “Are they telling the truth vs is it the truth?”
Notable & Quotable:
Geoffrey X Lane: An excuse is a lack of clarity. Thomas Rhodes:
Hold yourself accountable and get it done. Geoffrey X Lane: We will
do more for others than we will do for ourselves. Thomas Rhodes:
The ONE thing we can do for ourselves is that we can choose.
Geoffrey X Lane: State your preferences. start with what you like.
Jessica Dewell: When we say yes to something, we are saying no to
something else. It about what I value. Thomas Rhodes: We must hold
ourselves accountable to finish the commitment. Thomas Rhodes: How
you act to a decision is your choice. Geoffrey X Lane: The
consequence of making a choice is that [the result] smacks us.
Thomas Rhodes: Blaming is a waste of energy; own it and move
forward. Jessica Dewell: Normalization is when we explain away
things that don’t feel good about yet with time we ‘get
comfortable.’ Thomas Rhodes: Awareness of what’s around you is
important. Jessica Dewell: When, where, and can we see the excuses
we make? Geoffrey X Lane: People will desert you (if you make the
wrong choices) faster than they initially followed you.
- Three questions: what worked? what did not work? what can I do
- What Is Systems Thinking? – Peter Senge
- The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness
choice, accountability, excuses, limiting
beliefs, failure, obligations, consequences, influence, decisions,
self awareness, blame, question, challenge, present, observation,
clarity, skepticism, normalization, frame of reference, trust